A pretty good day

Some thoughts on optimism and stepping out in faith

I’m excited. It could be that I am hungry and planning a really yummy Mexican dish for dinner. I can’t remember that it’s tasty, except I trust my handwriting which I found in big letters across the page, which read “awesome”. I could be excited just because I made it to the gym today, ok so it was only for 30 minutes…but it was twice this week, maybe I’m running on those happy chemicals that are released upon the increase of the heart rate. I could be excited because it’s a beautiful day and the Jacuzzi tub is up and running in our ‘soon to be’ bathroom-it’s true, there’s no sink, floor, or toilet, but technically I could have a hot bath if I wanted to before bed. While sharing the space with Hal’s tools, the shop vac and several unfinished walls doesn’t sound appealing, it’s the option that counts. There are many different reasons I feel a little boost of joy- I visited with an awesome friend today , I was honest and open about a vulnerability in my life…which was really risky, but worth it plus she didn’t run out screaming.

My friend shared a great testimony with me which was like a vitamin b shot to a thyroid deprived patient. (me being the deprived one). Her testimony gave me practical courage, it made me realize God wants good things for his kids. God is working on our behalf, but we have to reach and stretch. He will pave the way before us if we are faithful to move forward. We watched a bible study on Faith by Pricilla Shirer, who I love and hate because she is so right and so beautiful at the same time, which I didn’t think was possible.

Another exciting thing I feel pumped about is that I actually took a step of faith and purchased my own domain. I don’t really know what that is, or what it changes on my blog, but It seems good, I’m feeling really hopeful and optimistic, that it could change things, big time, a step in the right direction. I’m turning over a new leaf. A leaf of Discipline, goal setting, and follow through. I learned yesterday that goals and discipline are two separate things. A goal has measurable data. Discipline is doing something even though you don’t feel like it because you know it needs to get done. I’m excited because I just decided on a new name finally for my blog. It’s way less erotic than talkingsoftly. I was always concerned that people would get the wrong idea. The name I chose is perfect because my blog really is the place where my faith and works kiss each other, the place I share things in my life which have increased my faith. And the place I really need to trust God.

Why? I have been planning and hemming and hawing for years about buying my own domain. I was afraid someone would steal my identity. I was worried my posts would be so horrible, and outrageously wrong that if someone I knew saw me in the market after reading my blog they would throw tomatoes at me. I was concerned about being judged, accountable and labeled. I must have filled out the form ten times, without sending it. I was worried the name I chose wouldn’t be good enough, and that it would all be a disappointment in the end. So I never pulled the trigger, I never stepped into the Jordan. I held back. For a long time even though I knew I should purchase a domain, I didn’t. guess what the results were? no readers. For years I have had to send friends and family posts via texting to get readers…I feel like I’m paying someone to play with me.

it was a step of faith for me to fill out the form and the thing which takes money from my account and push the submit button . Faith that involves action, discipline and follow through. It was a step toward , what I feel like Jesus is telling me -GO FOR IT. Even though I fear being rejected for all my bad writing skills and eccentric ideas. I just went for it.

I’m Peter today. Peter from the bible. Peter who had a boat, who had been fishing all night, and came back to shore with empty nets.
This is me. I’ve been writing like my family depends on it to put food on the table. I’m getting to the giving up point, where I bring my paper boat to shore, pack up my thoughts and ink, desperately discouraged that my nets are empty and my produce is non-existent.

Suddenly I see Jesus standing there saying, “Kim, have some faith, purchase the domain, send in some queries. Have I not called you? Have I not set forth this desire in your heart, and trained you? Kim cast your nets and I will fill them.”

And finally after whining about it for months, today- I did it. My eyes might have been closed when I pushed the send button. I can picture my husband laughing at me all day because I act like I’m jumping out of an airplane at 30,000 feet. But I did it, and I feel excited about it, encouraged, relieved and optimistic.

when we act in faith, ACT being the key word, it brings hope which propels us forward. when we freeze in fear, FREEZE being the key word, we stay stuck.

God has given me the desires my heart has. He has put them there, and he will accomplish his good will. He is faithful. This is the place, the place I’m stepping out in faith, this is what faith looks like…moving forward, even though…And sometimes faith just looks like obedience, “Yes Lord, because you said, it I’ll do it.”

Faith is really about working out what we have said we believe. If we believe that God is true ,his word is relevant and that he has ordained all our days, then we should be willing to do what he asks and commands. if he has spoken a word to us, he will equip us with everything we need, resources, energy, support, whatever it is we need. If it’s his will he will provide for it, and bring us joy along the way.

Faith for me today, is this: discipline, goal setting and following through with God’s orders.

Faith is acting, going, doing though we might not have all the details, know the plans , destination or even have the means to do so, but It’s not about what we have or don’t have, it’s about what God has. We only need to move forward in faith.

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