I waited month after month to see that little pink line show up in the small plastic window.
I stored soft blue booties in my top drawer to remind me to have faith.
I begged God to give me a child,
And he said, “Just a little bit longer”

After my second child was born,
I was so tired, they were so needy, I didn’t think I could give more,
I felt tethered to diapers and toys and the four walls of my living room and I couldn’t really remember what it meant to be alone
I wanted to read in a quiet space and I cried, in frustration, to God,
And He said, “Just a little bit longer”

It has been years now, since I have cleaned up spaghetti from the crack of a high chair, or felt the weight of a baby stroller against my arms on a cold, desperate, January afternoon.
I’m no longer tethered to car seats, and nightmares, I no longer hear that sweet word “mommy” from a little voice in the grocery store carriage,
It has seemed a life time ago when I look back at photos of tiny pigtails, and bare feet, and baby teeth. A life time ago when I was the most important person in the world. I look at their small faces in slide shows in my mind. I silently pray, “Oh God, I don’t want them to grow so fast, I don’t want them to leave me, can I keep them?
And I hear God say, “Just a little bit longer”

It seems life is tied to waiting, there is always something new to be waiting for. When will we take God seriously when he says those 5 precious words to us, “just a little bit longer”. The children we have were never ours forever but just for a moment in time, a second passes and they are grown, independent, pushing us to the margins of their day. We have a short time to love them, hug them, know them, listen to them, teach them, and see them, just a short time to tell them just how precious they are. A short window when they will receive it unconditionally and allow it. They will one day use all we do and give to form their opinions of us and the world and decide who they are. The world is ours for a moment, life, breathe, the universe for a split second, to decide who we are.

I watch the evening news and feel the burning in my heart.
I listen carefully, I watch, I wait, I mourn, I repent,
I have stored up in my heart all he has said to build my faith
I ask him, “Lord, when, when will you return?”
“Just a little bit longer”

3 Replies to “Just a little bit longer”

  1. Such a beautiful heart writes these kind of words. Its why God has given you wisdom to see, know and feel these things. Your children are blessed to have you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning" Psalm 18:28

Already Not Yet

to him who was, and is, and is to come

Theology Still Matters

To Make Christ Known to the World

Writings & Worship: blog, photography, and design

Christian lifestyle blog: Makeup, books, coffee, photography, design, & always Jesus

Torah Family

Come Grow With Us

Torah Musings

Thinking About Jewish Texts and Tradition

60 Seconds of Torah

inspiration for a fast-paced world

Torah Family Living

helping you make Torah the heart of your home

Morning Meditations

"When you awake in the morning, learn something to inspire you and mediate upon it, then plunge forward full of light with which to illuminate the darkness." -Rabbi Tzvi Freeman


Here I stand.


Leaving Egypt is only the beginning of our journey...

Life As A Hebrew:

Stripping Away Cultural Inheritance


Bringing a message of Hope, Love, and Mercy to the world!

His Perfect Timing

My Incredible Journey with God

writing tips

think deep , write long

%d bloggers like this: