Stopping Midstream

Stopping Midstream

My days are heavy
My pain powerful
My heart and mind full of holes,
My feet weighed down
My soul in anguish
For all the knowledge I don’t know
I grieve the tools I don’t possess,
I twist the words I do
Frustration fills these boots
Like floods of water I didn’t choose
I’m lacking power I’m lacking truth
I’m missing places I’ve been with you
I cannot think; or sort this mess
I wear confusion; like a dress
I can’t sit still, I cannot move,
I breathe but barely
Like a wandering fool
Life seems tiresome, a burden I bear
I’m burned out from trying
To win and to care
Where is my victory; Where is success
Joy and the peace
Did you promise me less?
I’m blind and I’m suffering
I’m hurting not whole,
Broken and shattered
Like a worn out old soul
Morning brings hope
Yet afternoon sun
Reminds me of troubles
When I thought I had none,
Day after day
I remember I’m weak,
To move on, to build up, to forgive or believe
To stay close and secure, I tear
Like a poorly sewn seem
a stitch that’s not there,
I’m treading through wilderness,
A world inside out
An ocean of questions
A forest of doubt
Thoughts are my walls
Feelings my tomb
Words left unspoken
Like Flowers that don’t bloom
Stirring inside me,
Like a bowl of mixed greens
Come and abide Lord, set this girl free.
Don’t look me over,
Don’t pass me by
Hide me in shelters
Catch tears that I cry
And the ones that fall silent
And the screams no one hears,
There are times I survive it
But that’s just a dream
A memory I’m denied
A moment I flee.
2013

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